Me & My Shadow: Shikaku's Life Lessons
by NarutoRox
Summary: Shikaku's journal, filled with advice to his son (or at least what he sees as advice). "I'm going to fill this book up with a some wisdom of mine, or at least some words I think would be helpful to pass on. That way, even when I'm not there, you'll still have something to turn to for advice."
1. Shikaku On-

**A/N: **This idea popped into my head after reading a review for one of my other ff's, 'Signed: From A Very Scared Lazy Ninja Suitor'. So I want to thank _WatchingAsYouFall_ for prompting this idea in my head! :)

This won't be cannon to Shikamaru's journal from 'Signed', and is a completely different story. (While I'm at it, I want to thank _The Kazekage of Suna_, as Shikamaru's journal was an idea adopted from them to begin with.)

* * *

~Prologue~

Shikamaru picked up the wooden box his from his father.

Shikaku had kept it away from Yoshino, which made Shikamaru idly wonder if it maybe contained some pictures or magazines he hadn't wanted to her to see. That sounded like something his father would do. Then again, he wouldn't put is past his dad for the images to be of Yoshino, for that matter. He hoped not.

When Shikamaru opened the box, though, he found a book with his name on it. Three pictures fell out when he picked the book up and opened it.

He scooped them up with a sense of foreboding, and was both relieved and a little surprised by what was on them.

One was his ninja academy picture, taken on his first day. Shikamaru couldn't help but grin when he saw it. His posture was stiff yet still lax, his eyes a little wide...he remembered he'd been scared out of his mind at the time, but had been too tough to admit it. It was funny, thinking about it now, how something so trivial as his first day of school had scared him.

The second photo was of him as well, this one taken on the day he had graduated the academy. He looked lazy and bored in this one, hands in his pockets, though he was standing at an angle (probably at whoever was taking the picture's request) so the camara could see the shiny new Hidden-Leaf headband fastened to his arm. Shikamaru unconsciously touched his, no longer shiny, but scuffed and a little worn.

It took him a minute to recognize the last photo, though after looking at the other two, he knew it must have been him. He was a baby, probably not more than a few weeks old. He was asleep, his thumb in his mouth, and after staring at it a minute Shikamaru realized what he thought had been a blanket he was sleeping on was actually his father's fuzzy old vest.

Shikamaru gazed at the pictures for another minute or two, then turned his attention back to the book. It was a handwritten journal, and when he flipped it open to the first page, he was again surprised at what he saw.

It was addressed to him, in his father's lazy handwriting.

He had no idea what this was, but clearly it had been ment for him.

So he leaned back in his seat, and read.

* * *

Dear Shikamaru,

Today, you graduated the academy.

You're a full-fledged ninja now, though by the time you read this, it'll be old news.

Congratulations anyway.

Your grades were terrible, but I have a strong suspicion that has more to do with you taking after your old man and being too lazy to actually answer any of the questions on your test.

Ahh, anyway, as I watched you take off today, it struck me that it seemed like you had just enrolled into the academy.

Guess you're growing up fast.

I'm not getting sentimental, now, I'm just thinking that must mean I'm getting old. Well, older.

But I began to think that soon you would be going out on missions.

Nothing dangerous at first, of course. You'll probably pick up some old lady's garbage, or rescue someone's dog, but eventually, probably sooner than I think, you'll leave the village on some hazardous mission.

And I won't be there to keep an eye on you.

I won't be there to give you a pointer on how to move your shadow better, so the enemy won't be able to see it easily.

I won't be there to tell you your left side is wide open to an attack, remind you to keep the wind in mind when you throw a kunai, or to tell you to zip up your fly before someone else sees it and you look like a fool.

Well, you get the point.

I'm not trying to baby you. You of all people know I've never actually done much of that.

But it does worry me a little. You see, it got me thinking...there's not much I can do for you anymore, is there, son?

Except maybe give you a little advice here and there.

So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to fill this book up with a some wisdom of mine, or at least some words I think would be helpful to pass on.

Some of it might seem trivial, or maybe just strange, but trust me, if there's one thing you learn as you get older, it's that you wish life came with a helpful guide.

I'll give this to you when you turn twenty. (So I guess, Happy Birthday, too, eh?)

That way, even when I'm not there, you'll still have something to turn to for advice.

Your Father

* * *

**A/N: **This chapter was a little sappy, and is probably going down as the most serious. The rest of the story will now consist of Shikaku's journal entries, and his 'advice' to Shikamaru. They also won't be as sappy.

In my mind and for this story, this is the box Shikaku mentions in Naruto Chapter 616. :)

Updates are going to be totally random and on a whim, though reviews always have a way of guilting me into updating faster! ^_^


	2. Friends

**A/N: **I feel as though I should put some kind of disclaimer on here, stating that I'm writing Shikaku's advice for entertainment and not for people to actually use in real life. But everyone already knew that, right?

I also ment to mention this in my author's notes in the last chapter, but I wanted to stick with the Japanese tradition of the age of 20 being considered a milestone, and that's the reason I chose to have Shikaku want to give the journal to Shikamaru on his 20th birthday.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed! ^_^ That always encourages me, and I'm glad you liked it!

And _a01_...don't worry, Shikaku will bring it up eventually. ;)

* * *

~Shikaku on friendship~

Dear Shikamaru,

When it comes to friends...let's face it. You can't always pick them.

Sure, what everyone says seems to contradict this, but trust me.

There's always going to be that one guy you really don't know why you're friends with.

You know, the obnoxious one you don't even remember how you were introduced to.

The childhood friend that never seemed to grow up.

The guy that only ever shows up if you're buying.

The one that you just _know _is going to start an argument with another friend that you're going to have to mediate.

In our case, a slightly mouthy Yamanaka and an all-too sensitive Akamichi. Yes, those are traits Ino and Choji share with their fathers. I'd like to tell you they'll grow out of it, but I promised I wouldn't lie to you in here.

Just accept that the three of you will be bugging the crap out of each other for the rest of your natural lives, and you'll be fine.

Right. Back on topic. Friends.

Well, you see son...friendship takes...a lot of give and take.

Like me, Inochi, and Choza. Choza takes our food, and we give it to him. Hmmm, hold on, that was a bad example. Okay okay, Choza and I give Inochi horrible advice on how to handle a daughter, and he takes it anyway-wait, that's not right either...

Oh, forget it, the three of us are a terrible example to use.

My point is, your friendship with anybody can't be all about you. It has to be about your friend, too.

You'll have to put some things aside, and when they need you (or even if they don't), be there for them.

And if you're lucky enough to have a true friend, then maybe someday, when you need them, they'll be there for you.

Why, look at me and Inochi...when your mother went into labor, and we went to the hospital, Inochi stayed with me the whole time. In return, I was able to give him moral support when Ino was born. And no, it had absolutely nothing to with the fact that I never had to leave the hospital.*(_see author's note below_)

You have to accept each other for who you are, as well. You can't go trying to change your friends, even for what you may think is for the 'better', and you shouldn't let them try to change you, either.

Again, look at Inochi, Choza and I. I'm a lazy bum who can never be bothered to do anything, Choza is roughly the size of both Inochi and I, and Inochi has that really stupid hair, and yet none of us has ever tried to change that about each other.

That being said, a good friend _will_ change you for the better. Not intentionally, you might not even realize it at first, but a true friendship will always make you a better man, son.

You'll want to strive to be that better person...if not for yourself, then for your friends.

Never bad-mouth or speak ill of a friend, even if they aren't there. You wouldn't want them doing the same to you. (And my comments on Inochi's hair don't count, because we have been teasing each other about our hair for years. There is a difference between bad-mouthing and good-natured teasing with an old best friend.)

A true friend is someone you would do anything for, without expecting anything in return.

One good, true friend is always worth more than a dozen fake friends.

I don't know if you've ever heard of this, but there's a saying I've always been fond of:

A friend will come bail you out of jail, but your best friend will be sitting there beside you saying "Damn, we screwed up. But that sure was fun!"

Which is true, though you should always keep in mind that, when there is three of you, at least _one _of you should try to not get caught, that way you have someone to come post bail. Also, try to make sure you get caught with the Akamichi. Yamanakas make better character witnesses in court.

Don't judge, you'll do something stupid when you're seventeen, too. Okay, and when you're twenty. And twenty-one.

This is supposed to be for advice, remember? Maybe now you'll think twice before doing something really stupid that will probably involve sake. Or impressing a girl. But never mind that, that's a topic for another occasion.

This may seem like a stupid thing to bring up, considering your age now, but you should always try to share with your friends.

Never let a girl (or a guy) come between you and a friend.

Always stick up for your friends.

Never forget a real friend, and always remember who your real friends are.

Sometimes, you won't realize the impact a friend made until years later. Sometimes when it's too late to matter.

Even as a ninja, son...it's okay to cry for the loss of a friend. There is always a time and place for that.

And don't worry about not always being able to pick your friends. Sometimes it's just destiny.

You just won't realize it until later.

Your Father

* * *

**A/N: **When I was done writing this, a scene from the manga came to mind, when Shikamaru is talking to his father about Naruto. He (Shikamaru) says that there's something about Naruto that makes even him want to get up and walk beside him. That made me think about Shikaku's line that a friend will change you for the better, sometimes without realizing it.

*And on my note in the entry, Shikamaru and Ino's birthdays are one day apart (the 22nd and 23rd of September), so it would stand to reason that their mothers would have both been in the hospital at the same time. Meaning that Shikaku would probably have already been at the hospital when Ino was born anyway, so the whole 'moral support' thing may or may not have been him simply being there at the right time. You'll notice he doesn't mention when Choji was born! ;)


	3. Regret & Doubt

**A/N: **Ah-ha! I'm finally back with an update! Sorry for the delay, but I was trying to update my other fics as well, and have been a little pressed for time lately. But thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed, or added to their favorites before, I'm always delighted to see such positive feedback! ^_^

And yes, to any of those who noticed: I changed the name. Though I liked the 'Me & My Shadow' part, I wasn't fond of the original name, but for lack of a better idea used it anyway. But then the new title came to me a little while ago, so I went ahead and changed it. Feel free to let me know which one you like better. :)

* * *

~Shikaku on Regret & Doubt~

Dear Shikamaru,

You were promoted to chunin recently. Congratulations again.

I haven't really been keeping up with this very well, huh? I started it when you were promoted to genin, and now here you are a chunin and I've only written two entries...you really _are _growing up fast.

But really, good job son. I'm proud of you.

You've given me something else I can lord over Choza and Inochi. _Their _kids didn't even make it to the final stage of the test. Plus your little stunt at the end of your match won me Choza free drinks, I _told_ Inochi you were going to forfeit, heh heh.

But anyway, what with all that has been going on lately, I thought this would be a good time to bring this up: Regret.

As you get older, you'll find regrets will still somehow sneak up on you, no matter how you live your life.

It may be a few simple, small things; 'I wish I had gone to that place when I still had the chance', 'I shouldn't have done that instead of that', 'If I had paid attention when he had told me the first time I wouldn't have made such a fool of myself!', and so on and so forth.

But then there are the other things, the more important things, the ones that could have altered your life in some way. 'If only _I _had gone on that mission instead, he wouldn't have died', 'If I had just been faster, or done something differently, nobody would have gotten hurt', 'If I hadn't said that, we'd still be friends', 'If I had told her how I felt, we might still be together right now'...these are the ones that will eat you up inside if you dwell on them, son.

Which is why you _can't _dwell on them.

Everybody has regrets, be they big or small, and they're lying if they tell you otherwise.

This is all especially true of us shinobi.

We, who must make split-second decisions on the battlefield. Who in an instant can end or save one's life, and who can't always foresee the consequences of those actions. Perhaps we're assigned to keep a foreign daimyo safe, and then said daimyo improves relations between our countries. Or perhaps we're commissioned to assassinate someone, who's comrades later declare a war in response.

But regardless of the outcome, we can't let our regrets dictate or ruin our lives. We must pick ourselves up and move on.

When you do make a regrettable mistake, you can learn from it without dwelling on it.

If I'm going to be honest with you, most of my regrets involve alcohol, Inochi and Choza.

Then there was this time that had all of that, plus an ill thought-out dare involving-ah, I don't think I'd better put that in writing. The ANBU never figured out it was us, and I'd rather not leave any evidence.

This is going to sound stupid, especially now that I'm writing this to you, but I often regret how much time I spent with you as a child. I wish I could have done more, now. Maybe have been a little more patient, tought you a little more, just...simply done more.

Yet I can't dwell on any of this.

Instead, I simply acknowledge that, yes, I wish I could have done more for you as a kid, but I know now that I can't, I'm going to do what I can for now.

Then there is regret's more immediate cousin, Doubt.

Self-doubt can eat you up almost as bad as regret can. Which is why you can't let it.

Never doubt your instincts. As a ninja, I can't stress this enough. Doubting yourself will inevitably lead to failure, no matter what you're doing.

But...it is okay to have some doubts, son. Everyone does.

For instance, I highly doubt you're going to make it to adulthood without doing something stupid to embarrass yourself in public. (Sorry, your 'grand' entrance onto the chunin exam field is still fresh in my mind)

My point being: It's okay to have some doubts about yourself...but the important thing is to believe in yourself more than you doubt yourself.

Do you remember my little talk about friends? If you are ever doubting yourself or your abilities, let them help you.

I know a certain little Akamichi who's never held more doubt than belief in you.

And if that still doesn't help, and you still find you're doubting yourself...well.

Don't worry.

Your mother and I will still believe in you, and will never have any doubts _or _regrets when it comes to you.

(Except about the embarrassment thing. And you know, I still regret not spending as much time with you, and I'm sure Yoshino regrets dropping you...just kidding just kidding. And well your mother and I may have a little trouble believing in you if you decide to become a serial killer or a pimp or something, but don't worry our love is still unconditional, I'm sure)

(And about the above message...you're never going to get too old for me to stop messing with you.)

Your Father

* * *

**A/N: **I had mild writer's block on top of my time issues on this one, and it went through a lot of editing, though I think part of it was the somewhat gloomy subject. I've been looking forward to writing the next chapter though, which should be longer and more lighthearted.

This entry takes place right after the 'Sound Invasion' arc (after Shikamaru has been promoted). So when Shikaku mentions Shikamaru's 'grand entrance' still being fresh in his mind, he's talking about how Naruto 'helped' Shikamaru enter the battlefield during his chunin exam battle with Temari.


	4. Women

**A/N: **Well, here I am, back for an update after, oh, er, five months. *Cringes shamefully* I can't apologize enough to everyone who's been waiting for an update, I really can't. :( I'll try my best to keep up with this more, for everyone who's still *hopefully* reading this, and thank you, thank you, _Thank You_ to everyone who's still been reviewing, following, and adding this to their favorites despite my absence. This was written for all of you. :)

I'd especially like to thank bellatoz guardian, whom I'm dedicating this chapter to for leaving the coolest, sweetest review I think I've ever gotten. :') Thank you, I will continue writing this, and I'm touched this had that effect on you. :')

_a01,_ this one's also for you, because we knew Shikaku would have to bring it up eventually! ;)

And finally, I feel as though I should include a disclaimer here: Gentlemen, do not, I repeat, _do not _take much of Shikaku's advice this chapter to heart. In reality, him giving advice to Shikamaru on women is the equvilent of the blind leading the blind through four lanes of rush hour traffic at a busy intersection when the traffic light is broken. Ladies, try not to be too offended by Shikaku's ignorance. He knows not of what he speaks, and after writing this I feel infinity sorry for Yoshino...

* * *

~Shikaku on women~

Dear Shikamaru,

Oh boy, time for the most troublesome topic of all: Women.

Where do I start?

Women are very complicated. Relationships with women are even _more _complicated.

One minute you're cozy and happy, laying your head in her lap while she hums. The next minute you're out on your ass, sleeping on the couch because you weren't paying attention to the conversation and said something insensitive.

And that's just after you're married.

Actually there's an entire list of things you should never say or do to your wife or girlfriend, but if I wrote the one from my personal experience down, I'd need another book. (However, I have compiled a list of a few of the deadly phrases used by the women in my life over the years, which will be included at the end of this entry. Memorize them. Well.)

Right. Anyway. Women.

I've said this to you before, son, but without women, men would fall to ruin.

Yeah, I didn't believe my father when he first told me that, either, but you'll come around.

With any luck, you've figured it out on your own by now anyway.

But anyway, once you have come around and figured it out, you have a whole new set of problems.

For instance, before dealing with the troubles of a relationship, you must first get into one.

There's really no one way to go about it, I'm afraid.

Sometimes, it just kind of happens.

In fact, if you're lucky, you'll end up meeting/befriending some girl and will be engaged and planning a future together before you even realize you're a couple.

Before you roll your eyes, this actually happened to Choza. I'm under the impression he didn't realize he had a girlfriend until a year into he and Choji's mother's relationship. By then the two were crazy about each other, but still. It's easy to do with a girl you're already really familiar with.

Other times, you've got to do a little (or a lot) of work for it to happen. In this scenario, you're more than likely going to make more than a few mistakes, as well.

A good example is me and your mother.

I don't know if I've ever told you this, but when your mother and I first met, I actually turned her down.

She was a chunin who often did archive work with Inochi, so when Choza and I would go see him, she would be there. I thought she was pretty, and whenever we talked we ended up flirting with each other, so under the guise of seeing Inochi and 'discussing our next mission together', I would go down to the archives with Choza just to have an excuse to talk to her (I never admitted this to even myself at the time, being young and stupid and in denial).

However, being too lazy, too cowardly, too young and too stupid, I never made the first move, and when she eventually asked me out herself I made some stupid half-assed excuse and said no.

Needless to say, I definitely regretted that stupid decision.

After sleeping on it and a lot of self berating (plus some chastising and advice from Choza, who was far more aware of the whole situation than I was), I eventually caved and decided I was going to go see her and try again.

You can imagine my horror when I found out she was going out with Inochi then, instead.

Yes, your mother used to go out with Ino's father. Don't worry, we find it funny, now. (Though I doubt you will.)

But back to the story. When I found out, I sulked and made a general ass of myself, taking a lot of my frustrations out on a bewildered Inochi (who I found out had been trying to catch Yoshino's eye for weeks; ironically she'd been ignoring him because of me). I now feel very sorry for Choza, who knew exactly what was wrong but couldn't tell either one of us for fear of making everything worse.

I have several regrets on the whole incident, from how I reacted to your mother to how I treated my friends; However, it would do me no good to dwell on it now.

But to make a long story short, I spent six agonizing weeks furious with the world (but mostly myself), until the two ended up apart. Inochi didn't elaborate at the time, other than saying they were a poor match, but I found out a few years and several drinks later that he broke it off when he figured out why Yoshino had agreed to go out with him to begin with (apparently, to make me jealous).

It says something about the man that he wasn't even angry with me when I ended up going out with her a few weeks later. Though that might have had more to do with the pretty brunette that had started working the archives with him instead of Yoshino.

(Yes, it's who you're thinking of. And no, they didn't hit it off right away, either.)

Anyway, all of this was actually the easy part.

The hard part, of course, came after we got together. You see, this is where those relationship troubles I mentioned before come in.

I'm sure you've heard this before, but communication is the key to any good relationship. Unfortunately, this is part of the problem.

It's...hard to explain, though the easiest way to say it is that men and women are on completely different wavelengths.

Things tend to get...lost in translation?

Take my example from before, when I got the couch because I allegedly said something insensitive.

Obviously I didn't _intend _to say anything to upset her. I didn't even realize it sounded like that at the time, it just kind of came out that way. Perhaps if I'd said the same thing in a different tone, it would have come across as less...assinine. (For once I realized what the conversation had been about, it occurred to me what I said definitely could have been classified as such.)

Then again, I'm also quite sure if I'd been having the same conversation with Choza and said the same thing in the same tone, he wouldn't have thought anything of it. That being said, we can have entire 'conversations' consisting of monosyllables, facial expressions, and profanity, and I can't remember a time when I ever actually managed to insult the guy, so he might not be the best example.

My point is, there some things you can say to your old buddy that won't mean a thing to him, but will definitely mean something to your wife. (Don't believe me? Walk up to Choji and tell him he looks lovely today. Or better yet, call your wife/girlfriend something I've heard you and Choji jokingly say to each other before, and see what happens.)

Like I said, some things just don't translate.

However, some things just don't need translating.

Some things don't even need words.

Like when I come home troubled or upset about something. I may not say a word about it or show outward signs, and yet...your mother knows. Inochi, Choza, even you may be unable to tell, yet without exchanging words, Yoshino knows. Call it woman's intuition, or whatever you want, but on some level she knows me better than anyone, sometimes even myself, does.

Sure, you may see me as a whipped dog. And yes, Yoshino may ride my ass sometimes. But when she understands me like that without words, and I see her give me the smile she reserves just for me, I can't help but feel it's all worth it, misunderstandings and all.

I don't know how else to say it, other than to say without your mother, I would surely fall to ruin.

Now I'm sure by now I've bored you, and you're rolling your eyes and muttering to yourself that this _still _doesn't help you understand woman.

Hell. In my almost forty years of life, I _still _can't quite figure them out.

Son, I don't think we ever really do, and I'm almost positive I never will.

But in the end, through all the troubles and misunderstandings, it's still worth it. Maybe someday, you'll find yourself a nice girl and figure it out in your own way.

If you do, I hope you let me know.

After all, I could always use some advice.

Your Father

P.S. Here's the list I mentioned above, with a few of the deadly phrases used by the women in my life over the years, along with their true meanings:

1) "Fine." - This is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is right and you need to shut up.

2) "Nothing." - Means something and you need to be worried.

3) "Go ahead." - This is a dare, not permission. Do not do it.

4) "Whatever." - A woman's way of saying 'screw you'.

5) "That's okay." - She is thinking long and hard on how and when you will pay for your mistake.

And the most often misunderstood:

6) "Wow!" - This is not a compliment. She's amazed that one person could be so stupid.

There's a trick to listening to the tone of these phrases, which is the surest way to translate them into their true meanings. These are especially deadly, of course, when used in conjunction with an argument.

P.P.S. And for the love of all that is holy, don't, do not, let your mother see this entry. Burn it once you've read it if you must. You'll save us both if you do.

* * *

**A/N: **The longest chapter so far, in the blind hope that will somehow make up for my lack of updates. ^_^' This was a challenge to write, as it's basically been half-finished in my documents for the last 4 months or so. It's incredibly difficult to get your head back in the game when you've only got a few minutes to work on something, and I ended up deleting and rewriting more times than I could count, and I kept worrying I wasn't keeping Shikaku in character.

I've had a plan in my head for what 'lessons' Shikaku was going to bring up for this fic, and so far this is looking to be about 8 chapters or so. That being said, it isn't set in stone, and I'm hoping to be able to have Shikaku reveal a little more of his past exploits to Shikamaru before all is said and done. ;)

Shikaku's list phrases above is roughly based on a sign a neighbor of my grandparents used to have in their yard, as well as something they used to say. It used to crack up my brother and sister when we passed it, and I couldn't help but think of it when I was writing this.

Reviews are always appreciated and encourage me to keep writing, so thanks to everyone still reading and reviewing this! ^_^ You guys rock!

**Edit: **Wow, I feel stupid. ^_^' After reading some of the reviews on this chapter, I found myself scratching my head and going 'Who on Earth is this blonde person they keep talking about?' I then went back and read this chapter...and proceeded to bang my head into the wall. Not only had I typed 'blonde' instead of 'brunette' when describing Ino's mother (who is the woman Shikaku is talking about), I didn't catch the mistake until you guys brought it to my attention, despite the fact that I proof-read the thing like three times. -_-'

I'm very sorry, and I've corrected the mistakes. Thank you all for pointing it out to me, as well as my 'PSS' typo as well. Things like that help me become a better writer, so don't be afraid to point them out to me in the future (for I know there will probably be more mistakes like that in future chapters, despite my best efforts, for which I apologize in advance).

Thanks for all the reviews, they really help! ^_^


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